well, so it looks like i've been an inactive xanga member for lets see...almost 10 months. not bad at all. anyways, the reason why i havent updated in almost a year is because i felt that most of the stuff that happened when i was in SD was not worthy to be updated on xanga. jkjk. there were so many memorable and impacting events that took place in SD especially in little spark but i was just too lazy to make entries about them. but the reason i wanted to post this once-in-blue moon entry tonight is because....norman(friend who is co-leading small with me) and i started our small group last night. note that this is more of a heads up for the LSer's and people in my class who i told about the small group. i sent a class email about our meeting but there was only about 7 of us that actually came including norman and me. i seriously did not think that anyone will really make the effort to open up and contribute to the conversation or even come to the small group but i was quite surprised at how well the discussion went. basically, we ate at hot pot city and then went back to my norman's house and talked about nonsense, irrelevant subjects for quite a while like how we always do in the guys' bible study in SD. then we got down to business and asked about how each person is doing in life. from here they can talk about any aspect in their life not necessarily spiritual walk. in the end, after listening to what most of the guys had to say, it seems as if a lot of them feel that reading the bible, praying, evangelism, not doing certain things define the spiritual walk in life and that they fail in being consistent in these areas. however, i truly hope that they will ultimately understand that these things do not define the christian life even after one has been saved by the gospel. rather by the end of this summer i hope they come to realize that the christian life is defined by one key thing - remembering what Christ did for us on the cross in everything that we do and from there we will be grateful for what He did for us thus compelling us to want to do all the above things they mentioned. yea...but that was a good conversation. all that time, i felt like i was the shrink or psychiatrist trying to understand and analyze each person. however, at the same time, i want my friends to see that my role is not like a counselor but instead i'm just like one of them struggling through the same things. from that relation, we can expose our flaws and problems to each other. anyways, more of an update later on small groups later on in the upcoming weeks.

by the way, i just got a new digital camera. its a blue casio and its pretty neat.  it costs like 330. i'll post a picture of it some time. i'm pretty stoked about using the camera because i havent taken any pictures with my friends in the bay area for a long time and i have absolutely no pictures of little sparkers.

got back from surfing with LS bible study group a few hours ago and i'm super tired. who would've ever thought that staying in the water for an hour would be so physically draining.  now i understand why when people in movies like russell crowe in castaway get washed ashore they looked so dead and exhausted.  anyways, back to the topic of surfing. i suck at it but in spite of that i thought it was still fun attempting to surf.  now that my first year of college is coming to a close, i realize why God has led me to SD.  in high school i was really how should i say this...reserved? no no, quiet? no that cant be it. well, the word i'm looking for is the opposite of adventurous. ok, i'll settle with non-spontaneous. yes, so i was really non-spontaneous, always wanting to stay in my comfort zone regardless of the fact that i decided to run for class president. otherwise i always felt like i had something to lose if i were to become outgoing. i guess it was the fear of looking stupid. but i think the fact that God led me to SD helped me to ripped out of that shell.  there have been so many "first time" things that i've done this year, from snowboarding to surfboarding to burning the floor at the warren semi formal with my dance moves.  yea, i remember that night vividly. the dance floor was packed and there was so much body heat that water started to condense on the ceiling above the dance floor. at first i was kinda hesitant to even move my feet but then i got pushed into the middle and was forced to dance solo in large circle of people.  but the thing was at that time, my mind said to me, "screw stupidity. you only look more stupid if you just stand there." it was then when i started to bob my head to the rap music and tapping my palm against my leg to get the flow then my feet just started moving and making squeaky noises on hardwood floor.  in high school, i dont think i would have ever done something like that even if we had a dance.  people recognize me as a "dance machine". in fact now whenever i hear hip hop or any kind of music playing loudly while walking down library walk, i tend to bob my head.  one of the songs thats been stuck in my head lately is gwen stefani's most recent veideo hollaback girl. i hope next year at the warren semi, they will play that so i can dance to it. ok, back on topic. God leading me down here has been a blessing because it transformed, no, a better word would be reveal, it basically revealed the side of me that i dont think any of my friends back at home or high school classmates have ever seen. of course everyone has seen my sarcastic side but barely anyone not even myself ever knew that there was an outgoing side to me too. unlike high school, this side of me has gradually made calloused to being laughed at. i dont really care about being laughed at as much now  when i say something embarassing or do something that catches the other people's attention because i just laugh along with the crowd. seriously, i know how much i regretted picking SD over davis last year but honestly, i cannot imagine myself breaking out of my bubble with the people in davis. this comment might or might not be directed towards any particular individual or group of people. interpret it however you want. i also think just hanging with mike, george, and nancy and especially the rest of LS really helped me to grow as a more spontanous person because they are much more outgoing than me to begin with. hanging out with them, i was always in put in situations where i felt my boldness was tested. therefore, when i go back home i hope people will gradually see the change in me. it might take some time. hahah, if you want to speed up the process of seeing my outgoing personality just put on some hip hop music. yea, there are somethings that i have carried with me from high school to college and my old personality is one of the things i really want to leave behind.

finally, just got back from sungod festival concert. wait, before i go on i must inform the non-ucsd'ers what the sungod fest is.  well, ucsd is stereotypically known as the school that just studies at least in socal.  it seems like the school doesnt party or do crazy stuff but every year ucsd has an annual sungod festival in the spring quarter where throughout the whole entire day the school goes wild and party. from sun up to sun down there are drunk people everywhere on campus. during the day time there are these activity booths and things like that but they're not really my type of thing.  people get all kinky, wild, drunk, high throughout the day and it usually ends with a big concert at nite on rimac field. so anyways, the ludacris concert just ended about an hour ago. ludacris was supposed to be the main attraction and i think there was also phantom planet and some other opening rock groups. concert was pretty good i guess but then this is my first rap concert so i dont really have anything to compare it with. concert was awesome but the only thing i hate about it was that there were all these smokers smoking weed and cigarettes and the field was so crowded. the place smelled like crap and peoplewere barfing everywhere. hahah, i took pictures of ludacris on my camera phone but it is extremely low quality. you can barely see anything except for his image on the big titantron screen.  heh, just now i heard a guy outside stumbling while walking up the stairs. must be one of the many drunk people coming back fromt he concert. oh yea, and while i was walking back from rimac i passed by ludacris' DJ. i didnt realize it was him until the people behind started talking to him. darn it, i coouldve takena picture with him. on a sidenote, school is ending really soon. my first year passed by so fast but i guess when you're having fun thats supposed to happen right? i guess it'll be good to go back home even though i've kinda started to become more comfortable living on campus especially now that i'm pretty much committed to LS. going home will be a nice change in  environment though.  i get to sleep on my firm bed back at home, eat my mom's cooking, and see my friends again.  seriously, the bed in my apartment dorm really sucks. its so freakin springy and when i turn in my sleep it makes all these metally noises. i just realized that its been a while since i've updated. i think the last time was when i was home for spring break and now its the 8th week of spring quarter. i will try to keep this updated more often but it doesnt seem like people really read this even when i did update it consistently in high school. at least thats what it shows on my visitor counter. haha, i swear it took me 3 years to get to 3600 reads. anyways, i'm hyped about tomorrow cuz i get to visit to ucla people with mike and george.